I saw a side of you today that I hope I never see again. I guess it was mostly my fault but I still hope that never happens and I am going to do my best from ever repeating my mistakes. I felt physically sick with how things were and it made me realize how much it would hurt if anything ever happened to us.
I love you so much and I am sorry.
Right now I just want to hold you in my arms and fall asleep together.
After my last post talking about girls night I wanted to clear up what I said. I guess I wasn't concise with my message. I never meant for it to come across that I disliked hanging out with any of "the girls" because all of them are very important to me and I enjoy being with them whenever I get the chance. That is my problem with girls night. The fact that I like to spend time with everyone and to not be included just because I am not female really bothers me. Basically I just see it as though we are friends and we should all hangout as such. I don't see why it matters what sex I am.
I was told that I don't understand and I guess I don't. I just wish that we could all hangout like we did before. Why is it so important to just hangout with girls all of a sudden?
Like I said before I pretty much just hangout with the girls so when its a girls night I am basically shit out of luck when it comes to doing anything and that sucks.
I have no regrets saying how Avery feels because it needed to be said and she wasn't going to say it.
Don't kill the messenger.
Anyways I guess I caused some drama with saying how I feel. It usually ends up like that for me but whatever.
I am going to hangout with Avery as much as possible because she is the most important person in my life and I like being with her as much as I can. I don't really know what else to add to that except I am going to be with her as much as I can whether that interferes with your "girls nights" or not. I also want to hangout with everyone else too. We never seem to do that much anymore and it sucks.
I don't really understand a lot of the blogs, vlogs or whatever else you want to call these pseudo intellectual personal journals with everyone trying to write like they are attending Harvard for literature; E.G. - cody weber. I don't know what it is about him but his pretentious writing makes me want to hit something very violently. I am sure that my posts will be similar but no one likes who they are...
right?
Well whatever.
I am going to be honest I was only encouraged to actually take some time to write a blog because I found out my girlfriend has had a blog for months. I know I should not feel "betrayed" but for some reason I do. Mostly because she held something from me for so long and I only found out about it when it was practically thrust onto everyone in the biggest public forum of the past couple of years; facebook.
I guess I just feel as though at this point in our relationship we shouldn't be keeping things from each other. Even if its something as trivial as a blog. I know I am contradicting myself but that's what I seem to do best; cause confusion to others and to myself.
I was actually also going to start a new blog on tumblr because it seems more cool and hip but then I realised how much time I have put into this one and I really just don't care about tumblr. I mean everyone has converted over to it so I am going to stay here and be different? and historically isn't being cool being different?
I guess I am the cool one and not these other defects running to the cool and trendy new thing. I will stay because when it all comes down to it we are just gonna be doing the same thing. Except you people on tumblr don't seem to like to use complete sentences too often. Are incomplete sentences cool?
incomplete.
cool blog.
write really well.
trendy?
I don't really know and I am starting to ramble on with this entry.
Other then the secret blogs and what not things with Avery have been amazing. She makes my life so much better just by being in it. I see her probably every day and it still doesn't feel like enough. I could probably be with her every hour of every day in the week and not get sick of her.
Over Christmas break we spent time visiting each others families. Sometimes when I am introducing her to people I like to show her off. I feel proud and happy to tell people that shes with me, that shes my girlfriend, that I love her more then anything. She really is my world and I may or may not believe in him but god help me I am going to be with her for a very long time.
Another thing I wanted to talk about was chick nights. These nights basically consist of me not being invited to hangout with my only friends in this city (yeah my friends are basically all chicks), and my girlfriend being taken away from hanging out with me to go somewhere she doesn't want to go (yeah she tells me she doesn't want to go because she says its boring). I know its probably selfish of me but I don't care. I know I haven't really been hanging out with anyone else really except her lately but the times when things are actually planned I get denied because I have a dick? That kind of makes me upset. I am pretty sure that I am more feminine then my girlfriend anyways which is kind of embarrassing but true. Oh and for your next girls night Avery said shes not staying overnight but would rather leave and sleep with me. For that I don't blame her; not only because I am awesome but also because five hours of gossip gets old for some people.
I don't know if the parties involved will read this but whatever.
Also Avery will probably get mad at me for writing this but I am sick of her telling me how she feels and then telling other people something different. Sometimes it even makes me look bad and I want people to know that its not me keeping her on lockdown but rather that she chooses to spend her time with me.
It is time to go back to a more traditional style of posting for myself. I recently purchased myself a new television. A 32" sharp LCD television to be exact. Not only has the difference in picture literally shocked and awed me but it has made me realize what I have been missing out on for the past couple of years. High definition picture quality has literally reignited my love for not only television but with my PS3 it has added onto it blu ray and HD video gaming.
Obviously it might seem like I am putting way too much into something as unimportant as TV but you have to enjoy the finer things in life sometimes too right? kick back and relax and enjoy some HD. You owe it to yourself.
So in the end I just want to say fuck your stupid blog. You don't look any cooler trying to write like that.
Whatever though I just had to rant and update after months of inactivity. To FINALLY end this I am gonna post this video.
I got a job working at a call center here in town. I started there 2 weeks ago and it has been going pretty well so far! It definitely isn't the funnest job around but its putting money in my pocket. I have also been working 3-9 mon-fri for two weeks straight for the training. I am glad that is over tomorrow! Next week I only work monday and tuesday 3-8 and then thursday 2-8. That way I am off when Avery is off :)
Christmas is getting pretty close and I am really excited about it and excited to buy people presents!!! I always enjoy spoiling my gf when I have one on christmas. It is an exciting time of year, and I am usually really happy around this time too.
School is going pretty good too. Not really much to add to that.
Things with Avery are also going good! Monday is our two months and I am excited for that!!! She makes me happy.
But yeah...I also started on a youtube channel with some friends. I do media mondays and you can watch them here!
All of these pictures I will provide a brief story behind. They will show you what I have done in the past 2 months, things I like doing, places I like going and the girl I'm seeing ;)
When Eli Got Out :( This happened on Avery and my one month. Eli got out of his house on a Friday and this picture was taken on the Sunday of the same weekend. Luckily he was found and brought back to Avery!
The Haunted House This one kind of goes with the last one.Only because I saw this house when I went out on a walk to look for Eli the night he got out and then I came across this house. I thought it was really sweet so I brought Avery to go see it when I met up with her. The guy is puking blood into a bucket by the way through the means of an electric pump !
Friends Thanksgiving We had a little thanksgiving dinner with just us friends. I made the turkey and it was delicious!
Steve's Hockey Nights Every Tuesday night we all get together and go watch Steve play hockey! I think its a pretty good time and I get to cuddle Avery to keep her warm.
Britt and Corys computer We sit around her computer a lot...mostly watching youtube!
School! School is going pretty well. I am not failing anything and overall I have been getting pretty good marks which I am happy about.
The Couches If you have slept at Britt's/Cory's/Steve's house then you more then likely have slept on these couches. They are a pain in the ass to sleep on but it means I get to cuddle Avery so it makes it worth a sore back!
Coffee Culture: The Cafe Bean Killer So a new coffee place opened up and I love it there. I always get a french vanilla latte because its amazing. The BLT is also quite good!
Briar Went Away :( This picture shows a going away/toga party we had for Briar. I really miss her and shes gone until April I beleive.
Batman I am now batman.
Beer Delicious.
Chelseas visits She doesnt come down that much but when she does its always good! I am going to be seeing her this weekend and I am looking forward to it.
The Best For Last So things have been going really well with Avery and she makes me really happy! :) I cant say I miss her purple hair though!
So I haven't blogged in a while and I thought I would! I got to see Briar this weekend which was awesome! I missed her and it was really good to see her when she was down for the holiday weekend. We watched a sweet movie that somehow managed to squeeze into it zombies, hitler and 80's hair bands....to put it simply it was amazing.
I had a really good thanksgiving with a lot of family that came down which was really fun. Although my grandma did faint and we had to have paramedics come to the house which was scary, but she was alright and didn't have to go to the hospital. We then proceeded to stuff ourselves silly and then the family watched step brothers together!
Avery has been sick for the past couple of days and it has been making me worry about her. I have been trying to take care of her the best I can but she doesn't seem to want to let me. We have just been hanging out and relaxing this weekend. Which has been good :)
I shaved my beard finally into a trucker stach and some sweet sideburns... I am pretty badass right now!
